Sorry, was that Dr Whom or Dr Who?

Before we begin, I know you are wondering why I am even mentioning whom. Who uses it these days, anyway?

I remember sitting in a quality control meeting over twenty years ago engaged in a discussion started by Fred, the minute taker, as to whether he should use whom when recording the minutes. The general feeling was that whom was archaic and nobody used it anymore. But apparently it was still important enough to Fred to raise this matter before he started to record the minutes. I loved that guy!

So, apart from Fred, who can be bothered to use whom? In The Penguin Dictionary of Troublesome Words Bill Bryson writes that Theodore Bernstein asked that very question in 1975. Bernstein asked twenty-five usage experts 'if...there was any real point in preserving whom except when it is directly governed by a preposition (as in 'to whom it may concern').' A staunch six said we must keep it, four couldn't make their minds up and fifteen said get rid of it.

Bryson goes on to mention that even 200 odd years ago Noah Webster called whom needless. It is left over from the times in our dim, distant past when we used to decline our pronouns. Well, whom is the only relative pronoun still hanging in there after we declined all the others and it just doesn't seem to know how to leave the party. And, what's worse, if you use it the wrong way People Will Notice. What we need are some simple rules to help us so that our writing gets noticed for the right reasons and not because some grammar snob is sniffing at our syntax.

Sorry, not quite up to the simple rules yet because first we need a very short grammar lesson.

We use nouns to label things, places and people. eg.Jim, saucepan, school, TARDIS

We use pronouns to take the place of nouns to make our sentence sound less repetitive. There are eight different types but we are particularly interested in relative pronouns, in this case whom and who.
  
Grammar lesson over, let's get on to the simple rules.

Simple Rule Number One

Try a different pronoun in your sentence.
Who went to see Amy Pond? The Doctor (he) went to see Amy Pond.
If 'he', 'she', 'they' or 'we' fits in you should use who

Simple Rule Number Two

Try a different pronoun in your sentence. This is not a mistype!
Whom did the Doctor go to see? The Doctor went to see Amy Pond (her).
If 'him', 'her', 'us' or 'them' fits in you should use whom.

Simple Rule Number Three

If there is a preposition in front of it you should use whom.
To whom it may concern.

Sometimes it will sound a bit old-fashioned.
From whom did you receive your Valentine cards?

In that case it's OK to change it around so that the preposition is at the end of the sentence and just use who.
Who did you receive your Valentine cards from?

You will be able to get away without using whom in your day to day conversation but someone will always notice if you get it wrong in your writing. We are stuck with it for now but, armed with your three simple rules, you can impress the snobbiest of grammar purists.